What do you think you deserve?

In Stephen Chobsky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower, there is a quote that says: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” And if you know me personally, you’ve probably heard this from me once or twice.

I believe that nobody picks the person they fall in love with, it just happens. Whether it’s right, illegal, painful, or perfect, the feelings we get for a person is not a choice. The initial spark, the incredible chemisty, connections we have with people, whether they’re appropriate, just happen.

But I think what we choose to do with these feelings are a choice.

Do you continue loving a person that abuses your love, who breaks your trust?

Do you pursue someone already committed to someone else if they don’t exactly reject you?

Love is not a choice, but everything else is.

What you do with your feelings, what you choose to accept from the person you love, you can’t blame anyone else for it, because it was your decision.

You chose to go into a relationship because you’ve never felt this way before, even if you know that this will ultimately cause you problems with your family.

You chose to go into a “relationship” with a married man, because he’s told you that you’re the love of his life, but will not leave his wife for you because he’s scared that she might take away his kids.

That is your choice.

We choose the people we see everyday, who we talk to, who we spend our precious free time with, with what we think we deserve.

So my question today for you, my dear reader: Do you think you deserve the love you have today?


Davao for the weekend

It was a series of unfortunate events.

The beginning of October, I headed to Davao for a short vacation. It was to say, interesting, with how much small details went awry.

First, after being reassured by a friend who was from Davao that their cab drivers were honest, we were taken for a long detour and asked for an extra P50 by the cab driver outside the airport.

Then we spent around more than an hour trying to find the right ferry to get to the part of Samal Island where our resort was.

An hour after we got to our resort, the power went our for a few hours, so even when we were feeling sick (got colds and a slight fever), we sat on a cabana beachside.

Relaxing in the cabana, we felt good. Even ordered shakes that we reassured them that we would wait for (since they couldn’t make them coz blenders were out of commission), it was fun, the beach air, pillows, the crash of the waves rocking us to sleep.

Then a storm started, which we were going to wait out, but the winds got too crazy that the cabanas were getting scary and glasses were getting knocked down, so we went back to our room, which, after a couple hours, got power back.

All these things could have ruined the vacation for us, but we decided to make the most of it. Instead of being tourists, we decided to make it an actual vacation and take the time to just relax, which I can tend to forget when I’m in a new place, wanting to just absorb everything and go “tourist”. This vacation was actually a good way to unwind after weeks of training, and a good way to prep for the busy season at my job.

I even got the time to try a new sport, wakeboarding, which was stressful, crazy, but hecka fun. I can’t wait to get better at it (hopefully).

My only frustration was, I didn’t get to experience durian at its hometown in the Philippines, but trust me, I’ll be back.

Davao, I will taste your sweet, stinky fruit, mark my words. 🙂

But really, it was a weekend well spent. Amazingly relaxing, but not the boonies, that I actually felt like I could move there.

More weekends should be spent as serene as that one.


Let’s define success

Being in my late twenties, recently uprooted from the path I thought my life was taking, I have been thinking about success. Growing up, we were all conditioned to think that success at this point in our lives is making a lot of money, starting a family, and having fun doing it.

But does being successful in one side of your life and not the others automatically equal to failure? Does work-a significant other to share it with = being a loser? Or does being totally happy with your relationship but hating every single moment of your working life mean that as a person, you’ve failed singularly?

Too often, it happens that one part of your life is utterly amazing, but the others, just kind of meh. We take the bad with the good. We tell ourselves that while we trudge along, taking what we can, that “this is the real world” or “welcome to life”.

Or is it?

Do we need to swallow bitter pills with every bolt of happiness? Or can we do both? And does it really happen? Do you, right now, know anyone who is ultimately happy with the life they’re living? Forget the petty, small annoyances of everyday living like traffic or the smelly guy next to you on the train, but life as a whole.

Do you think you’re successful? Are you on the path towards success? Or are you just taking the crap because you have an ounce of joy on another dimension of your existence?

I do realize that this entry is asking more than explaining anything, but I really do want to get the input of my 11 readers.

How do you define success? Are you successful?