I have been called high strung, easily excitable, “pikon”. So many things. Chill or laid back are not words that people use to describe me. One of the SO’s favorite lines to use with me is actually “Calm down.” because obviously, he is the chiller person in this relationship. I have a temper. It’s not pretty, and so are the words I sometimes use when I’m in one of my moods.
I am learning to just breathe. Growing older (Yes, I am admitting it) has made me realize that we all need time to think about what we say or do especially at the heat of the moment, because you cannot take those words back. If you think about what you said when you were angry, you’d like to take them back, you didn’t really mean them, or want to serve up that ultimatum, it was just something that came up. Word vomit.
If I could, I would take back a lot of things I’ve said in anger. I’ve said some pretty ridiculous things that I’ve felt mortified about after. There are also things I’ve written down that I know I will never say out loud, just to get it out of my system. It is my way of letting it out, so I won’t blurt it out suddenly if presented with an opportunity.
I’ve seen too many people take in too much stress, take on too much, and are sick, or have passed from it. When we keep things in, or express things we didn’t mean and feel guilty about it, we add to the burden our hearts carry every day, until our hearts can’t take it anymore.
Give yourself the space and time to breathe. We all need it.