The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain

A rebuttal about my mother

A lot of people tell me in almost a daily basis how amazing they think my mother is. I am here to make a rebuttal. I kid of course. I don’t think she’s amazing, I think she works hard at it. It takes a lot of work for my mom to get here and still keep at it on a daily basis. She’s made a lot of hard, and mostly practical choices for our family to be comfortable, to get her kids here, and sacrificed a whole lot for us to have the best in life she can possibly offer. Even as an adult, she still gives us an opportunity to learn by example, and sometimes, when we need it, the hard knock on the (emotional) head.

I’ve come to interact more with my mother as an adult and it’s not always been the case. She was quite strict growing up. No boyfriends when still at school. Curfews. Making sure grades were good. She would give us everything we NEEDED but not everything we WANTED which forced us to value everything we bought for ourselves, and to value what we buy now, and to take care of things. When you had to work for something, it’s harder to not take care of it, or attach emotional value to it because you spent time to get to it, and not just handed the thing on a platter.

It’s difficult being mom. We rely on her alot. We ask her to call people we can call ourselves because she’s the “adultier adult”. We ask her to cook difficult, complex things. We’re all still at home, eating her out of said home. We’re not the easiest to be with when we need more sleep. We’re not the most religious, but she is. It’s a whole host of things that keeps her going, going going. She has GERD, so she’s had to give up coffee, too much acidic food, and lying down flat on the bed. I can’t even begin to start on all her other projects. She likes to do a lot, which also keeps her busy a lot, and at 64, I don’t know how she has the energy.

So here is my non-rebuttal, rebuttal. My mom isn’t amazing. She does the frigging work. And so does the rest of your moms. So I hope you treated her to an amazing meal or a massage, or both. Because motherhood is frigging hard. Ask your mom.

Can you tell me about your mom?

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