I had a friend once that always said, “Either you win or you learn” and it always irked me because I thought it was such a naive way of looking at things. Some lessons I thought, hurt too much and dig too deep to recover from. There are some that change you for good, and maybe that’s the point. For good meaning for the better and not just for good meaning from there on out.

Sometimes we win. We’re lucky when it’s love (I always think in love, people get lucky, then they have to do the work to stay lucky), we work hard when it’s a job or business, or sometimes, we’re just on that path, and it’s really just fated to be yours.

When we lose, it’s difficult to appreciate it. It’s always in hindsight when we learn to appreciate the lessons we’ve been taught because of the loss. We learn to better be in the moment, or take the small victories on a day to day basis rather than aim for the moon, we take things step by step if the lesson is a big one. But we learn. It hurts. It sucks at the moment. It can feel like you can never get up from the fall, but eventually, you learn to live with the nonvictories. Find yourself on a new path to winning differently, and maybe one that’s actually better for you, big picture wise.

I guess this is my way of admitting that I was wrong, and that my once friend was right. We do get up. We do find ourselves changed, and learning from our losses. It’s not easy finding the good when you’re stuck in the pain and regret of loss, but we do find time and ways to move forward. We’re built for it, and if we’re not, hopefully, each of us has a support system that will get us through it. Whether it’s family, friends, or several rescue animals, we all need someone to lean on once in a while, before we can relearn to stand up on our own feet.

What lessons have you learned this year so far?