The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain

Planner Time

A friend who works at Starbucks just posted that Red Cup season is about to begin (If I’m not mistaken, November 2 is Toffee Nut day 1!), and as I’ve been pondering the past few times I’ve been to bookstores, it’s whether I’m gonna go through collecting stickers this year, for the ubiquitous planner that almost everyone considers a “must-have” every holiday season. I’ve had one for every year since 2006, the first two years were from copious amounts of caffeine and five pounds added to my frame, the next, from friends and connections. Those planners chronicled every little thing that went on in my life. Everyday filled with bits and pieces of my day, those I considered, well, important enough to want to remember when I unearthed them the next year or so.

This year’s planner, has well, been neglected. Truly and utterly more than half blank, and it’s almost October. It started when I first got it, I wanted the cherry version and got the one with coffee beans, though equally pretty, I was holding out for the cherry one, for I love cherries. (Even coffee cherries) Next was the bulk. This was the bulkiest planner I’ve ever had, and even if I do carry huge bags and backpacks, the hard binding, large size, and weight of the thing was too much to carry everywhere. It simply didn’t fit. And the pen, unlike the others’ was unreliable and easy to lose.

And maybe, this year was a whirlwind. I can’t even believe my ears when I hear Christmas carols on the radio. It still feels like last year, when I was making promises to get back to Baler for October surf season. Or was fresh off the Cebu trip wanting lechon by the bucket. Or planning to send Christmas cards to everyone I knew (and for the third year, did NOT do). It’s still a little hazy, the year that has been and is still going on, that I’ve wanted someone to document it for me, or hit myself over the head since I didn’t do it myself. A lot of milestones. A lot of new things. Crazy good and crazy awful things have happened. And this is the year I didn’t jot it all down.

I guess I’m thankful in a way. That a lot of nights, I’ve been too tired to do anything but wash up, brush and fall down the bed. Promising to fill in the previous day’s activities later that day, then forgetting coz I went to do something else. Repeating the cycle for a week. then a month, and now, a flurry of blank pages stare at me when I try to look back on my year on specific dates on my coffee bean covered planner.

This year, I lived my life. I know how lucky I am to be doing that. And when I do want to remember, I figure, those days that are important enough, i’ll never forget.

So will I get a planner for 2011? Maybe. Just for the Toffee Nuts.

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