The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain

A decade end, or something deep like that

I’ve been having trouble sleeping. These days, I can’t sleep for more than 2 hours straight. My head is overfilled and at the same time feels like it’s been drained of any sense whatsoever.

I have been dealing with this with song, songs too old to even make sense, and some that have already been through this with me. Early 2000 hits that somehow, are hitting the nail on the head too much sometimes, from Keane, to John Mayer, to Urbandub’s angstiest hits.

I can’t exactly call myself angsty, or pensive, or anything like that. I think, I will let other, more eloquent people put it better, and say unsteady.

So maybe I’ve been listening to X Ambassador’s Unsteady too much, and it doesn’t really say much, but it feels like the right fit.

Hold on

Hold on to me,

Cause I’m a little unsteady

A little unsteady

I really am trying to be better at getting out of my head about my life right now, but I find myself just singing out loud.

I am unsteady and it’s a bitch to admit it right now when you’re trying to reset into a new year, facing these things positively, and bringing that energy into yourself, but maybe it’s not so bad admitting wobbly knees and shaking hands. Until I find myself in better footing myself, I will be unsteady.

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