Choosing the good.

Life is difficult. Everyone has their battles, their own struggles that they have to survive every single day. While some obstacles are harder than others, comparing your pain to other people is difficult and a waste of time and emotion. Don’t belittle other people’s problems because you think yours are bigger, or belittle your own pain because you think theirs is more important.

Pain helps. It reminds us that we’re still human. It makes us appreciate the joy when it comes in. It helps us grow to be stronger people. However, for me, the length of emotional pain we choose to go under is at some point a choice.

People deal with loss, grief, depression, and all other forms of pain in their own way. Some choose alcohol. Some food. Some through tears. Others denial. As different people, with different support systems and perspectives, we have our own coping mechanisms to get through it.

But when is it dealing with pain and when is it wallowing? When do we say stop, and realize that it’s doing us no good to focus on the bad and move on to the good?

What I think is, when you decide it is.

It’s a personal choice. When to stop. When to move on. When to choose getting up in the morning and going to work, or just staying in bed crying.

I read somewhere that Arthur Conan Doyle said, “We can’t control our love, but we can command our actions” which I think is where I’m going with this. Our feelings may not be our own, shit happens and our hearts choose the most unfortunate of people to fall for. We hate the things that should help us succeed. We don’t feel connected to God, which is a frustrating, debilitating feeling for those who want desperately to be.

So what am I trying to say? I guess that I know I can tap into pain and suffering anytime I want, and wallow in missed opportunities, life choices and decisions that have maybe put me off the path I was supposed to, but today, I’m choosing to not wallow. Thanking my lucky stars I’m still here and able to even write this. For all the happiness that I’ve encountered when I’ve tried to wallow. For all I’ve learned with all the punches life has thrown me. For life. For love.

I’m choosing the good today. And maybe that’s enough for now.

A realistic optimist just trying to find her way.

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