The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain

I think you should listen to Ezra Furman’s “Every Feeling” today

Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Sex Education on Netflix (where this song is from), or maybe I just need a break from the same 50 songs I’ve been listening to for the past six weeks, but this song really hit me.

I’m gonna feel every feeling in the book tonight
Fuck the hurt, fuck the pain
Fuck the panic, fuck the hate

I wanna feel every feeling in the book tonight
And only love, only love and happiness will remain

And I’m not trying to sound different with all the cuss words that I don’t really use on this thing, but I think these lyrics are quite apt. I haven’t had time to process anything for the past few weeks, I’ve been too busy, too full of people in my life that aren’t usually around to really make room for what it is for normal.

It feels a little like a cop out to use being busy as an excuse to not deal with things, but what I’ve learned as an adult is that it’s such a delicate balance of things before one thing shakes the whole thing down.

So maybe today I will feel every feeling in the book tonight and leave with only love and happiness.

At least I hope so?

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