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What made me happy, week of April 24, 2023
Status report: It’s been a week of barely controllable hive breakouts and random outbursts. I have been self medicating with a lot of sweets, sugary drinks, and acupuncture like ear piercings. However in this rollercoaster of a week there are a few bright spots: 1. Getting more ear piercings. I have realized that earrings are the jewelry i really respond to. Even when we had a jewelry phase, i bought mostly earrings and rings. In the span of 2 months, I have added 4 (one did not work out) active piercings to one ear. I can’t recommend it enough if you have no fear of needles and like teeny jewelry.…
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Things that made me happy, April 11, 2023
Status report: Hives still keep happening, and my lower back hurts even with regular massages for Tita’s Hedonist Day Out. I need to figure this out. What made me happy last week: 1. Family time. I don’t see my extended family a lot, especially since the move. This holy week holiday is one of those times we can see each other, be less worried about our day to day. I love sitting with my cousins, uncles and aunts, simply being around them. I don’t contribute a lot, and it seems like sometimes I’m closed off, but it’s just me being overstimulated sometimes. I wish I could be more present or…
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Things that made me happy lately, March 27, 2023
Status report: BP monitor broke and I couldn’t get readings for 3 days, which coincided with a migraine that would not quit for 2. I must’ve had 4 coffees and 3 advils a day to try and address it, but the drugs and caffeine wouldn’t work. Recent theory, too much heat. My happy things: 1. This moment from Fleabag. In as much as this was a pretty messed up pairing in theory, the chemistry, the connection, all the things that led to this bittersweet moment, it just, makes the emo teenager in me come alive. Especially the line “When you find somebody you love, it feels like hope.”, in this…
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Things that made me happy lately, March 8, 2023
Status report: BP so high I was a stroke risk, daily hives, migraine immediately at hour 13 of no caffeine. However! Gave up coca cola and baked desserts for Lent. Wish me luck. Because of the ~fragility~ of life and me feeling every single one of my 36 years on earth lately, I will be putting more emphasis on the little things that make me happy. Because life is too fucking short not to. Happy things since I last documented: 1. Isabel’s Meal plans. Planning food for one is tough. I make things for a minimum of 5 people. Groceries are expensive as hell right now. I have zero prep…
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Life is short, week 26 of 52
Status update: Migraines and insomnia. Advil close to running out, and Tylenol has stopped working for headaches. Is the insomnia causing the migraines or are the migraines causing the insomnia? Life is short moments of the week: 1. Chipped teeth getting fixed. Teeth are expensive, and now even more so. I broke two front teeth and was semi-hillbilly like for a day. It was nice seeing the dentist I’ve seen since I was in the single digits. Couple decades later and we’ve seen her get married, have two kids, and now have one graduate college. 2. Routine checkups turning into health scares. Mom is great about regular checkups, dad not…
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Life is short, week 6 of 52
Status report: 6 bad migraine days out of 7, but successfully refilled with – full box of of ibuprofen. If only I was wrecking my liver with more fun things. 1. Dad’s birthday. Excessive amounts of food and snark, even if I had to sleep early for work. I love birthdays and making a big deal out of them. My dad is no such person for it — secretly he likes the celebrations though. 2. Losing a colleague. I hate that this is the second in 4 months. I hate that it was so sudden. I hate that he had so much potential and that the team had so much…
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What I’m grateful for, week 48 of 52
1. The beginning of independence. Sounds ridiculous for someone who’s 35 years old, but also in a very traditional, conservative country and family. I am being vague on purpose, but independence means a lot to me — especially what it took to get there. 2. Great support. I have leaned on a lot of people, and continue to lean on still. It still takes a village to survive this (gestures at everything), and I’m glad my tribe is solid. 3. The healing power of music. I’ve tossed, turned, had incredibly vivid sad dreams this week, and when I get up — the only people awake are across the world and…
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I think you should listen to Florence and the Machine’s Rabbit Heart today
Anyone who’s met me knows I am a crazy rabbit lady (my friend Marian Jo has mocked up collages even) but this is a whole different thing. I have been working by myself a lot, and when you work nights, the times are even quieter, and even though I use a friend’s music around 60% of the time while working, when I need to fill the quiet, I listen to songs I can sing to. I have been listening to Florence and the Machine’s Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up) lately. The lyrics are apt for a lot of things I’ve been thinking about: Life is so different since March that…
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I think you should listen to Kanye West’s Runaway tonight
I’ve always had a soft spot for vintage Kanye. More than I care to admit now that he’s gone full batshit crazy. Or I guess that’s the brand now? And this song just feels right for a Saturday night after a long week of having to deal with too much. His lyrics sometimes really hit you in the heart, and before, the first few verses were the favorite. Sharing toasts for the jerkoffs and the scumbags just feel right for a night out. But maybe tonight these just feel a little bit more apt: Never was much of a romantic, I could never take the intimacy. And I know I…
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I think you should listen to Ezra Furman’s “Every Feeling” today
Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Sex Education on Netflix (where this song is from), or maybe I just need a break from the same 50 songs I’ve been listening to for the past six weeks, but this song really hit me. I’m gonna feel every feeling in the book tonightFuck the hurt, fuck the painFuck the panic, fuck the hate I wanna feel every feeling in the book tonightAnd only love, only love and happiness will remain And I’m not trying to sound different with all the cuss words that I don’t really use on this thing, but I think these lyrics are quite apt. I haven’t had time to process anything…
