I’ve always had a soft spot for vintage Kanye. More than I care to admit now that he’s gone full batshit crazy. Or I guess that’s the brand now? And this song just feels right for a Saturday night after a long week of having to deal with too much.
His lyrics sometimes really hit you in the heart, and before, the first few verses were the favorite. Sharing toasts for the jerkoffs and the scumbags just feel right for a night out. But maybe tonight these just feel a little bit more apt:
Never was much of a romantic,
I could never take the intimacy.
And I know I did damage,
‘Cause the look in your eyes is killing me,
I guess you knew in an advantage
‘Cause you could blame me for everything.
I mean, in as much as I write all this stuff, I have a tendency to stay away from intimacy. It’s just easier to walk away from now, and I can blame all my baggage, but really, now it’s mostly me.
(Hey that rhymed, poetry after skeezy drinks? Maybe I should quit while I’m ahead.)
Listen to Kanye here: https://open.spotify.com/track/3DK6m7It6Pw857FcQftMds?si=gm4YtVU9SNqXsMtWjXM3tg
What are listening to tonight?
Maybe I’ve just been watching too much Sex Education on Netflix (where this song is from), or maybe I just need a break from the same 50 songs I’ve been listening to for the past six weeks, but this song really hit me.
I’m gonna feel every feeling in the book tonight
Fuck the hurt, fuck the pain
Fuck the panic, fuck the hate
I wanna feel every feeling in the book tonight
And only love, only love and happiness will remain
And I’m not trying to sound different with all the cuss words that I don’t really use on this thing, but I think these lyrics are quite apt. I haven’t had time to process anything for the past few weeks, I’ve been too busy, too full of people in my life that aren’t usually around to really make room for what it is for normal.
It feels a little like a cop out to use being busy as an excuse to not deal with things, but what I’ve learned as an adult is that it’s such a delicate balance of things before one thing shakes the whole thing down.
So maybe today I will feel every feeling in the book tonight and leave with only love and happiness.
At least I hope so?
Simply because it’s damn sexy. And I don’t say that about a lot of new songs since I am an oldie that likes songs that even my parents were too young to like.
But this song is just breathy and simple and I can’t get enough of it.
Here are a few lines from the song:
Ain’t never felt this way
Can’t get enough so stay with me
It’s not like we got big plans
Let’s drive around town holding hands
Mad warm when you get close…to me
Slow dance these summer nights
Our disco ball’s my kitchen light
And even if it sounds sexy the lyrics are pretty innocent. Holding hands in the car, slow dancing in a quiet kitchen. To me it not only speaks of desire for closeness but real intimacy.
And what’s sexier than that?
What songs are you listening to today? Have you slow danced in your kitchen with your significant other this year yet?
May this Friday treat you as well as the couple in this song, who only have eyes for each other, and if not, there’s always Saturday to make it up to you.
The thing about hanging out with a big group in one room is that you get introduced to new music. I am admittedly in a music rut since I don’t listen to the radio and I get very particular with making my own playlists.
But I digress (again).
I had listened to Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons about 4 times a day for 4 days and just liking the melody. I got the chance to really listen to the lyrics and once I did I enjoyed it so much more.
Here are a few lines to the song:
So look me in the eyes, tell me what you see
Perfect paradise, tearin’ at the seams
I wish I could escape, I don’t wanna fake it
Wish I could erase it, make your heart believe
But I’m a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, now you know
That I’m a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, youâ€™re free to go
I may be misunderstanding this, but from what I get from the song is that this person has their personal demons and has a tendency to self sabotage, but is trying their best to get through and is done faking their way through life.
I completely relate. There is a lot about me that are defense mechanisms, the inappropriate humor and the biting sarcasm. I’m trying to be better at showing people the real me, but I know this isn’t an instant change. It’s a process. I am still a work in progress, but I am done lying.
Or maybe I just like the way he says darlin’, who knows.
Listen to the song here and let me know what you think.
One of my biggest regrets in life was when I wiped my 7 year old ipod nano (which still works now) of the songs I curated since 2007. Until now I can’t find some of the songs I had on there that meant a lot. Reason being was that I wanted to start over and make new memories with new songs, turns out, I no longer have the time, patience or resources to curate something to that effect (around 639 songs at the time of wiping).
I like very old songs, and those who probably have people sick of them by now. My excuse is that I don’t really listen to the radio now, and depend on people’s recommendations of new songs. So I hardly have any new artists on my playlists. So I appreciate all recommendations of all genres.
Our friend Carla showed me the video to Happier, by Bastille and Marshmello, which is heartbreaking for anyone who’s ever owned a dog. Its lyrics are quite spot on too:
When the evening falls
And I’m left there with my thoughts
And the image of you being with someone else
Well, it’s eating me up inside
But we ran our course, we pretended we’re okay
Now if we jump together at least we can swim
Far away from the wreck we made
So before you swim away, listen to this song today. And try not to cry at the video.
I know it’s sad, and I actually started my day putting up my Christmas tree to Christmas carols. However, seeing Pier Sorenson on CNN Philippines sing it by himself really resonated with me. If you’ve never heard it, or it’s been years since you thought about it, please listen to it here.
Its lyrics are simple. Here is a sample of a few lines:
How could you ask for more
With an innocent smile
Trusting me to stay
How could you close the door
And leave me here
Supposing I’m okay
How could you break down my disguise
And uncover my fears
How could you look into my eyes
Ignoring my tears
It’s pain and it’s longing and it’s knowing it’s never going to be the same, but it’s real. I recently read in a book that “without suffering there is no compassion” and I agree. We have to experience pain to really empathize and realize how much things can hurt, and appreciate the good when it comes along.
Even if I am patched up and there are scars and bruises that show up in my being, it has allowed me to really experience humanity, and I can’t really regret that.
Sia has an amazing voice and heart wrenching lyrics that are sometimes obscured by her larger than life persona and videos.
Listening to her hurts, like you feel pain and suffering and raw emotion when you do.
By far my favorite song of hers has to be Elastic Heart.
And I will stay up through the night
And let’s be clear, won’t close my eyes
And I know that I can survive
I’ll walk through fire to save my life
And I want it, I want my life so bad
I’m doing everything I can
Then another one bites the dust
It’s hard to lose a chosen one
You did not break me
I’m still fighting for peace
It’s loss but it’s getting up and believing that you’re stronger than you were before a loss. That you will keep fighting for yourself and for love.
And I believe that. For the people I love. For those who always hope. For myself.