Status update: Hives but no asthma. So better? Fatigued as heck all the time, and need to carve time out to row.

I know I’m missing weeks and should clean up but I have zero desire to do that right now.

Short moments of the week:

1. Overspending at the grocery store. So I may have bought enough for a cheese plate for 6, and have not started, and randomly a Kewpie smoke mayo that I put on all the fried things, and thinned out my wallet considerably, but it’s great. With all the things going on — I can barely enjoy making a meal, let alone make one. When I do have time I will enjoy it. And I will find peoples to feed.

2. Chester, after 8 years, coming up when I call his name. He really must be bored. It’s SO CUTE though.

3. Turning an emotionally loaded change to something promising. It has not been without challenges — and let me tell you, I’ve been SO UNPROFESSIONAL, but blame it on insomnia and nerves. You never know how far you can go without being tested, and I hope this is a good thing eventually.

Song of the week: Feel So Good by Mase

-J

Status report: Finished my nebules, and I don’t know if I’m hallucinating the cigarette smoke going into the vents.

Life moments of the week:

1. Chester being back at the vet, diagnosed with stress. I get it Chester, I miss her too. So much so this week, when I realized how much you follow me around now. She was such a big personality, and she loved on both of us so well, that we’re both feeling the hole she left. It’ll get better, I promise.

2. A wake up call. There’s nothing like a jarring realization to reset you. This past week, I got a punch in the gut of sorts and had to walk away for a minute. It was frankly, demeaning, but also, a good way to pull me back to earth. You never really know until it gets called out — how much your efforts mean to people. Two years ago, this would have prompted a lot of emotional reactions. Now it’s more reason to find meaning in not just one part of my life. Including evaluating where I am and where I need to be. Maybe I’m learning to be more mature. Or maybe I already know where I need to get to.

3. Being able to sing again. I have been literally coughing for a month. So much so if I have more than 30 minutes of conversation, I lose my voice. So I haven’t been singing. Not even speaking when I don’t have to. It’s being managed by really good asthma medication (And overtesting against covid) and now I can sing again. And I have been hitting musicals. Lea, Idina, Kristin

Song of the week: This is Me by Kaela Settle

-J

Status update: Once a week nebulizing, but an almost everyday relationship with my inhaler. Only one migraine for the week which is a win — but also upping my caffeine intake by a lot with yakult jasmine iced teas. Eh. We do what we can.

Moments of the week:

1. New routines with Cheester. He has been extra clingy with Chibi being gone and has been “going to work” and then “heading back” every day. We may have overdone it with the treats but we live, we learn.

2. Timing. Cheester had mild stasis on a Friday — but also Doc Ferds, our favorite vet was in town out of schedule. I am thoroughly grateful for timing for this instance. We might not have saved our Chibi, but she is saving her Chester(is what I’d like to think.).

3. Time to breathe a bit. I have been running ragged learning new things and making sure we’re able to deliver. It’s challenging, and it’s overwhelming and incredibly stressful, but at the end, we’re growing. The after work moments of being able to laugh at the last season of Brooklyn 99, and restocking the fridge with 3 kinds of ice cream are what gets me through.

4. Dinner/lunch with a couple of friends. Yes I usually just want to sit and listen at the end of my workdays these days. But seeing friends — even if I don’t contribute as much to conversation, is a blessing. Just laughing about silly things. Eating too much. Smelling like Korean barbecue even after two showers. All worth it.

Song of the week: I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For by U2

-j

Coming together in the face of loss. We lost a friend, a colleague, an all around bright light November 14th. While it doesn’t make up for what was lost, there is some comfort in knowing everyone else is there. We’ll all miss him, and grief is unpredictable, but like the Beatles said, “We get by with the help of our friends”

Song of the week: Open Your Eyes by Snow Patrol

What are you grateful for?

Tell your loved ones that you love them today.

-j