Status report: Sugar is all out of whack, and is affecting so many different things. Losing sleep, breaking out in hives. It’s going to get better it’s just me.
My bright spots from the last week:
1. Acceptance. Late last week, I let go of clothes I had been holding on to for decades. I have accepted that because of everything working against me, my petite size blazers, xs skirts, and post college hoodies are long gone for me. It was half a day of humbling (but also cathartic) going through four 50L boxes, and half my childhood closet. I hope the folks mom chooses to give it to take it out to make their own memories, and feel great about themselves.
2. Getting back to Tita Sundays. Because of a few hiccups — it’s been a while since we’ve had our usual, but it was a really good one. More varied cuisine, definitely more in quantity than usual, and a much needed massage. Do I deserve it? I hope so. Did I flinch a little bit just burning through my wallet? Yeah. Still though, I realize how little my actual world is, and how little responsibility I actually hold, and it’s a luxury right now to even get good food or time away, and I’m making the most of it.
3. A (semi) wake up call. I hate when my gut is right sometimes, and my gut has been nagging at me for a bit now. It’s disheartening, but also gives me a time and space to think. To address where I may have lost my compass and realign it. I have been in limbo for far too long, hoping the sinking feeling in my stomach was just my overanxious mind. So I’m breathing deep. Letting go. Moving forward. It’s been a good run but good runs can’t last forever. I know this more than I can admit.
What made you happy lately? -J
Lost by Frank Ocean
Build Me Up Buttercup by The Foundations