funny · Love/Life

On awkwardness: Ballet fails and learning to sing

For those of us who were kids in the early 90s in Metro Manila, one of the few things you could do during the summer was either 1. take ballet lessons at SM for girls, or 2. take taekwondo lessons at SM for boys. I was a hyperactive child, and my mother really wanted to burn that energy out in the summer, so she enrolled me in the ballet lessons girls were supposed to take at the time.

It was a mistake. She recalls that every time she picked me up, she would see the whole class all lined up in the front of the class while I was in the back playing by myself. She was even told by the teacher after a while that I may have been better suited to enroll into taekwondo, and my mom felt so bad for the teacher, she didn’t enroll me in ballet the next summer. She didn’t enroll me in taekwondo however, maybe because that involves a lot of discipline too, and sitting around being quiet.

Growing up, I was never a great dancer. My hips never popped, my moves stiff, and I have always been self conscious on the dance floor. I never auditioned for the Dance Club even when it was the coolest club around, choosing instead to join the Book Lovers Club (I was so cool, even back then) where we could sit and read books while earning credit. I hated field demos, when the whole grade, or the whole school had to perform by level dance numbers for our parents. There’s even video of me during a presentation hitting the guy behind me at our third grade field demo instead of dancing. (To defend myself, I remember him giving me a hard time and whispering “Wow, great dancing!” very sarcastically the whole time) Any kind of movement in public I don’t much enjoy, as I’ve never grown into the movement or rhythm required for it to look any kind of normal.

But singing was different. I have loved to sing in as long as I can remember. My nursery school gave me the award “Best in Song and Rhyme”. I memorized all the princess songs from the Disney movies from tapes our mom bought, and we played over and over. I actually volunteered to take singing lessons in the summers between school. Singing was where I found meaning and until now, a way to express myself. A few times here and there I’ve even sang in public, and when I’m particularly stressed and/or happy, I sing.

So I consider myself very lucky to have found an outlet for my energy and stress, even now, and working from home, I get to indulge in the de-stressing as long as I’m not too busy or in an actual meeting. Even if my rabbits hate it, I have conditioned them to associate it with a good thing, as I bribe them with treats when I want to turn on the speakers they actually run to the bowl expecting the bribe.

So maybe I will never be a graceful ballerina, and the closest I’ll get are the cute flat shoes that I keep buying. But I have my singing and now my bunnies have it too.

So what were your awkward lessons you attempted growing up? Did you end up going the opposite way like me?

funny · Jodythinks

I still haven’t found my metabolism

I am twenty frigging eight years old, and about 4 years ago, I lost my mutant metabolism. The one that allowed me to eat like a construction worker after 8 hours of backbreaking work in the summer without gaining a pound, I just, lost it. Now I am saddled with extra poundage, because I didn’t, and still haven’t adjusted my appetite to the slowing pace of my body, telling me to cool it if I still want to be able to fit into all the dresses my mom made me in the past 7 years. I love food. It makes my day. When I’m stressed, it’s what I turn to for comfort, because food I can predict. I know how it works. If I can’t go out and find a meal that will make all the craptastic day go away, I am bound to be able to make it. I spend my weekdays planning the meals I’m going to experience on the weekend. I cook for people when I’m particularly frustrated. In a way, it helps me take out the annoyances and put it somewhere productive. That instead of bawling or ranting, I can create something that actually helps the universe, or in my case, usually the people I’m with.

But what does this mean for me? Well, the comments on how much weight I’ve gained, or the effect that it’s had on my body isn’t a walk in the park. Sometimes it can really get annoying when you try on stuff that were loose that are now pretty snug. Having to buy clothes in a bigger size just because you just can’t button that top button anymore. In my relationship, I’ve been lucky to have someone that just wants me to be happy. In whatever shape or form, he says. No pressure on losing the pounds I’ve invariably put on since I’ve rediscovered my love for going out (will expound on that in a future post). No passive aggressive comments on working out. Just a good, supportive environment where he encourages me to go for what I want, and this includes what I want for me, and what I see in the mirror.

Yet I do see what a couch potato existence and no control of portions can do to someone’s body. My family has gone through gallbladder stone removals (four people in one year). Diabetes plagues my mother’s side of the family. Cholesterol levels are shooting up the roof. My grandmother, who I love to pieces, takes about 8 different maintenance meds a day, costing upwards of P250 because of our lifestyle.

I don’t want that for my future. I’m scared of having to watch my sugar intake or go into diabetic shock. I don’t want a heart attack when I’m 40.

Don’t get me wrong, I love food, and I will continue to still love it, but I will make better choices. Maybe not eat that third plate of food just because there’s still some left on the table. Drink less soda. Choose the food that is worth it. Because I’m not a kid anymore. And because I want to be able to be able to have that choice in the next 50 years.

I am also trying to start a routine of being more active. Seeing what I want to get into. Make sure that the equipment I have at home is used. It’s a little more challenging, with what I was diagnosed with my knees, but that just makes it more worth it. It will help me not do whatever I want halfway, and try different things to see what fits. So if you’re enjoying your workout, sport, or anything that gets you up and active, please let me know and let me join you, because I am curious.

I am not giving up on myself, and neither should you.



funny · Jodythinks

And now, a moment with your 6th grade self

Sometimes you just want to go like this

Do you remember growing up, and having your first crush? I do. It was awkward, and strange, and ultimately, when you see them as adults, you go “What the heck was I thinking?” But in the days, weeks, months, that you were 12, walking around school, you sneak glances at him, hoping that he noticed that you were wearing a new bracelet, or actually brushed your hair today.

Now remember who you are today. When was the last time you felt butterflies when you saw someone, or at all? When did the littlest things like a sudden glance, or a nod, make your day? I think the photo above is the adult version of butterflies. That “daaaaaaaamn” moment that comes suddenly, one you don’t even plan, it just passes through.

We should all count ourselves lucky if we’re in relationships where we go “daaaaaang” sometimes. It’s a crazy notion, and sometimes shallow, but the “daaaaang” moment doesn’t necessarily translate to looks. It could just be how they wrote that email, or commented on your Instagram photo, that you posted and hoped to heck they would notice. Your significant other making your morning tea.

Hot is good, and whatever your definition, I hope you get to look at someone today, and go “daaaaaaamn”.