Lately I’ve been thinking about endings. They say everything looks better in hindsight, but this is not something I agree with. I think everything looks better in hindsight only if you’re sad. If it feels right, then you see what ended clearly. What it was, what it wasn’t. And to quote a colleague in a phrase I heard the past several months quite often, “It is what it is.”.

Life will never be perfect. Something will always be a little bit off. You may be extremely happy, yes, and content with what you have, but it will never be 100% going your way. It just takes your choices and outlook to see if you’re good with the life you’re living.

So I ask myself these questions every so often. Enough to nudge myself if something is not quite right, and move myself from where I am if it’s not.

So dear reader, tell me:

Are you staying with something or someone because it’s what you want, or it’s what’s comfortable? Is it really where you see your life going? Do you think you contribute? Is it enough for you to be comfortable and good?

Or do you want more? Are your feet itching to take a leap of faith? Do you need a new challenge, or get yourself out of the rut you’ve been in for some time now?

And that’s why I find myself facing another ending, with something I never thought I’d say goodbye to. I am leaving my current work as a Christmas elf and finding what it is that makes me happy. It is a flying leap of faith, but it feels right, real, and time to go. I no longer want to feel uninspired and want to devolve into phoning in to a job that deserves much more. To contribute to a place that needs me, and makes the bone tired feeling that isn’t shaking off so far, worth it.

I will miss the people I have come to love not just as colleagues but as dear friends. The people that make the heavy, just a little bit lighter when you laugh off the absurd things that you need to deal with day to day. The people that I’ve shared a career with, from writer to email agent to senior supervisor at something I absolutely had no experience with before. I am grateful for the opportunities given to me, and amazed at how quick these almost 5 years have been with them, and hoping that those who will want to stay, will stay.

I am leaving a changed person, and I am hoping a better one, and the next adventure, I hope it’s awesome.

 

Gambling. It’s been on my mind lately, maybe because I’ve been in the Thunderbird Rizal resorts casino twice the past week, but also because of what’s happening in my life. I won’t go into too much detail right now, but to say, the future is not as I thought it’d be a few months before this one.

I am not a fan of casinos. Mostly because I never win. I don’t know how to play the games, and the slots never give me back anything. The air is filled with smoke and the food is just okay. It’s an environment built to make you want to concentrate on playing, and when you’re not there to play, it can be difficult to have fun.

Except for maybe a few places that offer other distractions adjacent to the casino. When we’re there, I usually head to the poolside to enjoy a bite to eat and a few drinks to while away the time, sit and read.

Sometimes I go in to people watch. The people who enjoy gambling fascinate me. While everyone knows that the house always wins, it doesn’t stop them, they will keep playing the game, lose thousands of pesos in an hour, while away the day (and night) sitting in front of a screen or dealer, unsure whether their bank account will be wiped out or get more money in without a lick of work in.

It’s a risk isn’t it, because the luck of the draw can make or break you. There is only a certain degree of control in the play, and most of the time, it’s what you’re dealt that will challenge you to come up with your next move, and how you react to it will show what you’re made of.

Cue the obvious metaphor for life. Who except the big guy up there knows what the next thing is, who can predict what life will hand you next? Everything is a gamble because there isn’t any predicting what will come next, and you can only control how you deal with it, and react to the changes you’re served.

That’s what I feel lately. Like this gamble in my life is still keeping its cards to the chest, and that life is yet to show me that this reshuffling is a good thing or bad. It’s a risk, and I’m happy to go with it.

What’s your gamble?

Say hello to Chester Buko. A rabbit that is smart, stubborn and *almost* as much of a greedy eater as my old rabbit Eho.

He makes my day. He is always quiet. He loves carrots and bananas, and likes his apple wood chews. He likes plopping down under the desk when he’s out of his cage. And he lives in a pink cage because he is gender comfortable in any color.

That is your moment of cute for the day. If those eyes don’t make you melt, I don’t know what will.

 

1-1-2015. Today, like all January firsts of our lives, are when we feel most hopeful. It feels like a clean start, like the date changing is an opportunity to change and be better. I am sure the resolutions will be quiet but worked on for at least the first couple of weeks. Fitness, career and personal goals will be defined. People will be generally “more” on all aspects (Insert holiday weight joke here).

I have to admit I do feel that this time of the year, and somehow, like 90% of people, I tend to sit back and not work at what I want as much by the time February comes around.

So the goal is general this year, and I am borrowing from a friend, who borrowed it from his friend.

This year I will be moving mountains.

What will you be doing this year? What goals are on the docket?