The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain

Sunday night thoughts

I could barely keep my eyes open. It was the second day of my weekend and I waa still running on around 6 hours of sleep (collectively). I couldn’t even remember if I got to kiss my boyfriend goodbye as he walked me to the waiting Uber car.

My body’s giving out but my brain is still working possibilities, ideas, strategies. What would I do with this opportunity I’ve been presented? Would I be any good? Would i actually use it well, because i’ve wasted these opportunities before.

But shouldn’t we always be a little nervous about new things?If if doesn’t make you worry while your inner self is jumping up and down in joy, what are you doing it for anyway? Life is too short for “meh.”

That sunset is pretty. Even with that worrying blanket of smog on the skyline, orange sky is lighting up the highway, always a bit more idyllic after a couple of hours of rain. ‘

I really should have had more sleep for this, but life happens and I work too hard not to enjoy life after work.

Should I make jokes? Take more notes? Make a little more effort to connect? I’m the only one here to not really be in the mix of an actual group, and I want to not rub anyone the wrong way.

Maybe I should just enjoy it and be myself.

Myself has been fine for me so far. Let’s try that.

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