There are so many days now that celebrate so many things that I feel bombarded with all these excuses to buy this thing or have that other thing. A lot of it is mostly marketing drivel, driving more sales to one or the other. However today apparently is World Mental Health Day, and that is something I can definitely find cause to ger behind.

It’s very important to take your mental health seriously. Some people like to brush away anything that they can’t attribute to a physical issue, and that is something we should not brush aside anymore. Suicide rates are going up. What used to be an every ten or 25 year thing of reunions, are now an everyday comparison of how your life stacks up to others in your circles. Social media is kicking up awareness that we might be better off not knowing because they stress us out to getting more or less, or thinking we’ll never stack up.

I’ve had to take myself quite seriously this year. Things happened and my life could no longer be ignored or swept under the rug. Circumstances were forced for me to reevaluate what’s important and for me, and with very thinly veiled suggestions, to talk to someone outside my circle professionally.

It helped. If not to hear their understanding of (what obviously is just my side of the conversation) and what it means to move forward, getting the a-ok from a professional that my life is nothing to sneer at. That even in the lows I still have more to be thankful for than I realized. I couldn’t have gotten there surely using my conventional methods, and believing it took a while, but the steps I took to be there, ultimately, saved me.

So do yourself a favor and reevaluate. Put your mental health as a priority. Don’t just say that it will pass and take yourself out of your list of things to take care of.

Because if you don’t take care of yourself, who will?

This photo was taken at the Mt. Samat Shrine in Bataan. It’s a huge reminder that war is messy and has horrific consequences. Let’s remind ourselves of that and never forget that in all wars, lives are lost. May we never see another world war because this time around, one missile can wipe out a continent and its surrounding areas ruined for generations to come.

Let’s be grateful we still live in a time where we can choose our leaders, speak our mind and decide on our fates on our own.

Growing up Catholic, the stories of my childhood are often peppered with Bible passages. One of the ones I never really understood was the story of Martha and Mary.

Long story short, Jesus Christ comes over Mary and Martha’s house, and the two sisters welcome him quite differently. Martha goes about preparing all the food while Mary sits at the feet of Jesus, listening to him and his teachings. Martha, getting frustrated at doing all work, goes to Jesus and tells him to ask Mary to help with the food. At which point Jesus goes and tells her off that Mary chose the better thing which is to be with him.

The normal interpretation to this was as Jesus telling her that the earthly preparation is secondary (chores) but the spiritual one (being with him) takes priority. This has always confused me, as I thought, if she didn’t do the prep, who would? It’s not like they had a maid who could take over so they can both sit at his feet while they all go hungry.

I guess it’s just the Martha in me who feels a bit offended that the person doing the grunt work is seen as less than the person out there, enjoying the company.

What if that’s how you show your love, all Martha-like by making sure the people around you are well fed, enjoy themselves? What if you’re not the most comfortable showing affection or know the right words to say? But you make the effort to be there and listen, does that make you less of a loving person?

I see it more often now in today’s world, of social media and “proof” of affection that those who are outwardly affectionate and do grand gestures are the ones being praised for their “ability to love”. It doesn’t take into account those who love quietly and support without fanfare.

I believe in the Marthas and hope they get more credit. Parents who stay at home and do all the chores never get thanked for the small things that pile up after a while. It’s a thankless job being a stay at home parent.

Honestly, I find myself being more of a Martha than a Mary most days. I’m not the most vocal or grand gesture-like, but I do my best to be there and do the work. I cook for people to make them happy, and most times, if you mention something you like that I can get for you, I will make the effort to get it.

So hug your Martha today, you never know if they need it.

In the summer of last year, we watched Dashboard Confessional kick off their shared tour with the All American Rejects.

One of the songs Dashboard performed was Heart Beat Here, in which they said they would be recording video and audio of the audience for the video. I remember being moved by the melody and how simply it was being performed.

And the moment was perfect. The audience were all a bit buzzed after a few concert beers, and a bit weepy after hearing Stolen and Screaming Infidelities.

I was there and I felt it. A perfect moment. While that moment may never come again, I am happy to have been able to have had it, fleeting as it is. May we all have a moment we will cherish in our memory, where you can still smell the air, feel what you felt, remember how closely you connected to the person you were with.

Life is crazy and shit happens and we lose people and we gain memories. Don’t let that stop you from living because we will never be here again.

This is the Ho Chi Minh Fine Arts Museum. It’s a beautiful old building that was built around 1929 (I think) and houses ancient art and decorative wear. We were lucky enough to be able to get there my last day in HCM and explore.

It did make us sad though that the museum wasn’t maintained. It’s in 3 gorgeous buildings but they weren’t well lit, it was dusty, the lifts were not operating, and there was litter all around. While it did add an air of oldness, it wasn’t a good old and the antiques housed in them are bound to deteriorate faster.

I guess it’s made me think of preservation. That no matter something’s beauty is, if you don’t take the steps to make sure it’s protected, it will go the way of ruin.

And isn’t that the rules of life? We have to take steps to make sure we keep something beautiful the way it is. Even if it changes it, it may add more character to it, like when natural leather wears in time, where the natural scratches and dulling in some places make it more interesting. Life is bound to scratch us up here and there, but if we do well enough by ourselves and others, we will be able to keep things beautiful.

How do you make sure to protect the beauty around you and in your life?

I’ve been thinking about attachments. What makes people stick? What is it about them that allow for connections to stay connected? How do you decide which ones don’t fray?

I read somewhere that it’s not about who you can live with, but it’s who you can’t live without. I guess that’s true. To a certain degree, we maintain relationships we can’t think about losing. Even if there isn’t much sense to stay attached. Even if sometimes the memories that come with them hurt.

As we get older, the more people fall away as we have less and less time to flit from one thing to the other. Your life becomes more serious, you get more picky about who you spend your waking hours with (since we get tired so easy and early now), and your circle gets smaller and smaller.

As a person in their early 30s I’ve seen people fall away and have experienced loss. It’s not easy but it’s also how you distinguish your “people”. Those who choose to include you in their lives with their ever shortening bull meters. Those who stick with you in the good times and the truly terrible ones.

When you find them, do good by them. Be there for them. Make the effort. Enjoy their company. And thank yourself for being able to do this. Thank the cosmos for leading them to you. Listen to the universe when they guide you to how to help them.

Have you thought about your attachments lately? How are they?

There’s controversy in the term “self care” these days because it’s being used to cover a lot of sins. I am quite guilty of this when I try to justify the 5th pair of shoes I bought in a month, or a nice piece of jewelry. It’s a lot of stuff and a lot of times when I bring it home and realize I don’t have anyplace to wear them, buyer’s remorse takes over.

That is not the case for when I get manicures, pedicures, full leg waxes, brow shaping and the like. There are few things that make me feel like an adult that’s got their life together more than walking out the salon all cleaned up. I tend to admire the manicure I could never get right at home, usually in very opaque, light colors that would show every smudge or miss. I wear shorts or skirts more often. I wear mascara and eyeliner to complement my clean brow line. I appreciate it and also, for the brief week and a half after, also tend to make more of an effort to make it last.

It’s not cheap and it usually takes hours, and the self care dolling up is the first thing I drop when I’m trying to save for something, but I can’t advocate enough for it. Take time for yourself to breathe, calm down, get away from the worries of all those other things, and be there for yourself.

In this life, you can’t depend on others to take care of you, so you have to do it for yourself. Whether it’s a nice dolling up session or a 6 course dinner or a really long massage, or just a nice quiet cup of coffee where they’ll leave you alone, do it. Life’s too short and all the crap around us is bound to drive us insane if we forget about ourselves. Self care isn’t just a nice indulgence, these days it’s necessary.

What have you done for self care lately?

I think for the two moods of not wanting to get out of bed, and the other of getting ready for an amazing day, Florence and the Machine has songs for both. For today though we are here to listen to Shake it Out because of these lyrics:

Cause I am done with my graceless heart

So tonight I’m gonna cut it out and then restart

‘Cause I like to keep my issues strong

It’s always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out

Shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa

It can be quite morbid if you think about it because they’re saying that they will cut out their heart, but for me it’s a jolt to the senses for a brand new start.

(I swear I didn’t mean for that to rhyme)

That melody, it just feels cathartic to me. So start your day with a get up and get things done attitude with Florence and the Machine song, because you deserve it. It may be a dark start but the sun is here to wake you up to a new beginning.