Jodythinks · Love/Life

Go big or go home

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

I come from a family of eaters. We plan our trips around food. My immediate family mostly look forward to Sunday lunch, because we know that after church, we have good food. My mom’s family and my dad’s family both have amazing cooks that love to feed people in massive amounts.

It’s no secret that I have felt the effects of a waning metabolism quite significantly. From being able to eat like a construction worker and not gaining an inch, to now having to buy clothes every few months because I can no longer fit into waistbands or armholes.

Difficult is a word that I use a lot of the time to describe this situation. I used to love buying swimsuits, and now I can’t find ones that actually fit. I used to be underweight, but now find myself usually the biggest one in a group of girls. Stress brings me to want food. Happiness makes me want food. Anger makes me want food. My basic waking life revolves around the next meal.

I miss being a sample size, and finding cheaper clothes by buying from the children’s section. I get daily digs from my mom about being larger than she is. I have friends who have told me that they weren’t sure it was me when they chance upon me in public because I had gained that much weight.But then I can’t give up pasta, or coke, or ice cream. Oatmeal actually makes me hungrier after two hours. Being hungry makes me irritable.

Food is both my comfort and my stress point. It has been a great comfort and also the cause of many internal and external issues. While getting older is not making it any easier physically, I find myself saying the words “I’ve made my peace with my size” much more often now, and 80% of the time, not being sarcastic about the statement. I am way more than what my dress size is, and the ability to earn to eat well is something I don’t take for granted. Sure, summer is coming around and it is time again to check if my bathing suits still fit, but I am finding that the small stuff, like what I look like in the mirror, compared to what I used to look like, hardly matters in the long run.  I have gone through a lot. My scars, stretch marks, incredibly expanding hips and thighs all bear witness to what I can endure. And there’s still more to get through, but I am ready to take it on.

My body is mine and we’ve got a long way to go baby, so tighten the straps, belt yourself in, because the adventure is just beginning.

 

Love/Life · Thanks

Simulain at Pangarap: A Night with the PPO at UPD

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A couple of weeks ago, I caught a free concert by the Philippine Philharmonic Orchestra at the campus of the University of the Philippines Diliman. We saw the posters one day at the campus and decided to go, the day before my sister’s birthday. They were celebrating the 106th commencement exercises at the UPD, and we were only to happy to celebrate with them. It also helped that the conductor was a UST Conservatory of Music graduate, as UST has not had great press lately, it felt good to hear the alma mater mentioned in a positive light. (Also, can I take on the title Maestro in my job because it sounds really cool)

Simulain and Pangarap, to my knowledge, translates to Beginnings and Dreams, so it was really a hopeful, but also nostalgic feel in the air.

So we sat on the grass and enjoyed a couple hours of classical music with a full orchestra.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not one for pure classical music. I cannot distinguish a piece by Mozart from the Nessun Dorma. I like the strings. Cellos, violins, and violas make me happy, and the fact that I didn’t have to dress up for this really helped make it a much more friend easy night out.

And it was such a good night out. There was a light summer breeze, there were families and fancy people dressed up, and people on their first dates just enjoying the music. It was such a great mix of all kinds of groups that I found myself comfortable enough to be that girl that closed her eyes to feel more in touch with the music. I got teary eyed when they performed All I Ask of You as it is still one of my favorite songs, and clapped when the unmistakable melody of Aegis’s Basang Basa Sa Ulan came on.

As a bonus, they played Happy Birthday and it was a few hours until my sister’s, so all the birthday greetings really paled in comparison to “Oh, the Philippine Philharmonic performed full orchestra the Happy Birthday to me.” Smug.

I’ve half a mind to follow the PPO to their next venue as they did say they were touring campuses around the PH, because when else can you say you were serenaded by a full orchestra? For free. Oh yeah.

What a great (free) Friday. When was the last time you enjoyed something free for so much?

P.S. (And in case you needed to start your day with beautiful music, here is the link to their performance of Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal at Carnegie Hall)

 

Jodythinks · Love/Life

The currency of intimacy: Frank Warren’s Postsecret

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

Frank Warren has been in my life for more than a decade. I have been reading the secrets on Postsecret.com most every Monday morning Philippine time. It’s a very simple concept. People write their secrets on a postcard. They mail the postcard to his address. Frank scans and puts them on the blog once a week. When there are occasions like Mother’s Day, or Fourth of July, there are similar postcards mostly pertaining to what the upcoming holiday is . It’s very simple, but also very resonating. When the shows started, I always made it a point to see where he was going, to maybe, just maybe catch him when I was in the country in the same 3 hour radius he was going to be in. Unfortunately, that hasn’t happened yet, however when I found out he was in Long Beach, I had to reach out to a friend that was near there and was going through something to maybe go see it, and hope that she liked it. She had been helping me with what I was going through at the time as well, and I felt like I needed to share something with her to help her through her stuff.

This friend, selfless as she is, offered to do Facetime or call me, and sent photos of the auditorium it was going to happen in. The show is very strict about turning off phones during the show itself, so she had to turn off. And honestly, I wanted her to enjoy the time she was there for herself as well. After, she even got in line for a long time having a book signed for me by Frank, and most amazingly, this:

When she was having the book signed, she turned on video call so I got to “meet” Frank. Thus the shaky, awkward face in the photo, because honestly, I got very weepy with just that “Hi!”. We both wanted to say more but the people were telling my friend to keep it short, and I knew if I was in line for a long time too, I wouldn’t appreciate a video call from several thousand miles away cutting into my time with Frank.

In as much as I felt the experience resonate with me, I was glad that she felt connected to it as well, and I felt closer to her with this new thing we have in common. Even if it is sometimes controversial, sometimes depressing, sometimes sappy, I do think secrets are the currency of intimacy. Intimacy is always a tricky thing. It leaves you vulnerable. You can get hurt. You most likely will shed a tear, either of happiness or of other things.

So thank you Frank, for bringing my friend closer to me in this distance, and thank you my friend, for doing this for me, and for yourself. I feel quite lucky to know you even more now. And soon, I will have the courage to send a postcard of my own, as soon as I find a post office here that doesn’t read postcards before I send it on.

What’s your secret? Can you share it with the world?

 

Love/Life · Thanks

Happy Easter!

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

I like Easter in the Philippines. It seems like everything shuts down, and people get their choice of what to do to spend the really long weekend doing. If you want to brave the crowds at the beach or popular tourist spots, book early and pack a lot of patience. If you want to spend it following the Holy Week traditions with your family , you can do that too, or if you just want to spend it vegging out and exploring the very rarely non-traffic parts of Metro Manila, you can do that too.

While I’m usually with my mom’s family spending the Holy Week, I only got a couple of days in, waking up Good Friday with my nose stuffed up, head swimming and feeling like coughing up my lung, I was barely sociable and weirdly, had a bigger appetite since I couldn’t taste most of the food so my mouth didn’t know when to stop (hi, it’s Jody, I have an excuse to eat more at every turn).  Parent and self imposed rest gave me something I rarely get to do nowadays, which is sleep in at night. Working nights has really changed a lot of routine and my lifestyle, but of the most is just not having to draw my blackout curtains in and closing the windows to get some shut eye.

BUT I DIGRESS (If you’re a new reader, prepare to read this phrase a lot. If you’re an old one, hello, my bag of tricks is the same).

More than Christmas, I feel like the Holy Week is more of a time with options and relaxation, and generally, that keeps people happy. (And there’s no pressure of having to buy presents for everyone you’re going to see, so there’s points for that too)

So take a page from The Guy Up There and use this as a renewal, a celebration of new beginnings. From the ashes, the pain, the grueling torture He went through, he got up and got shiny new again. And if He went through that, you’re okay with what you went through too. If you’re not a believer of these things, then just use this time (you still have several hours) to get a new haircut, sleep in, go to your favorite restaurant, get a day trip in your favorite beach, and wake up tomorrow refreshed, happier, with new beginnings. Because you deserve it. Because you’ve earned it.

How was your Holy Week? Are you going back to your Monday grind a happier person? I hope you are.

Cheese · Jodythinks · Love/Life

To a home of my own

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

I plan. I make lists and dream about the future, growing up for me was a scary, but amazing concept of independence and free choice. One of the things I have always thought about, was a space of my own.

You see, growing up, our nondescript address always had people lost, deliveries delayed, and people scared. The neighborhood itself was okay, but the surrounding areas you had to go through to get to it, difficult.

Growing up as well, going to friend’s houses, I noticed all the good, the bad and the ugly, and the things that I wanted growing up, I have found, I still want. So let’s keep this here for posterity.

My dream house will have…

…comfortable seating. I have always had issues with seating. My posture is not the best. I like sitting in comfortable chairs. I do not like those uncomfortable, Victorian chairs that will make your back hurt after two hours. I will drown in my couches and fall asleep in cushy love seats.

…beds with solid bottoms/storage. Boogeymans will have no space in my future home, as I will fill the space with socks, or books.

…a space for books. Even if my new books will all be in ebook form, I will forever haunt discount bookstores for cheap finds and musty tomes. My children will not have an ipad to read on, but actual books that they will read at night, with flashlights.

…wood or marble flooring. I am a klutz. I slip, I forget about spills, and tile is too crazy slippery for every day. Carpets are fine, but too hot for the weather, and I do not know if I can clean it well.

…printed personal photos. The country we live in is gorgeous, and we keep going back to the picture perfect places that will make anyone with a phone camera look like a pro just because of its natural beauty. The goal is to print, frame and mount personal photos in the future house. So that the art is personal, and represents the people living in it.

….real food. In as much as I will always be weak for the junk, the fatty, the sweet, real food will be paramount in my home. While I may not get the island in the kitchen in my first home, I will make space to make real food. I have learned to make my own gnocchi, pesto, cookies, cheesecake, longganisa, and all others in between, and my home will be filled with the smells of cooking and baking.

….color. In as much as all I’ve read and saved photos of beautiful spaces are monochromatic and full of white, I am very much a fan of color. I have rainbow colored mini Christmas trees. Curtains that look like party streamers. Sheets that look like neon highlighter. I will try and tone it down but my fabrics will scream color, my art a rainbow of hues.

…love. My home will be full of love. All kinds of love. Annoyingly, messy love that takes over everyone that enters my home. As a home without love is just a space with stuff that people live in. My home will be a setting for love.

 

Jodythinks · Love/Life

To admitting to limitations

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

I have been unable to work out, wear high heels, run, walk too long even for the past few years. To really be honest, this has been happening for a while. Since 2013, I have been counting bad knees as a major hindrance to my everyday life. I have found it painful to go up and down stairs, do a jogging laparound the UP Academic Oval, even when I go around too long around the mall.

It’s really sucked. Just when I thought I found a way to workout that felt good and engaged me, I couldn’t. The pain was too much that after a day of boxing or muay thai, I would hobble around the house. I even bought braces for my knees for travel, for when I knew I was going to walk extended periods. Even with the brace on I felt horrible and had to take long breaks.

I tried a lot of things. Physical therapy. Supplements. Dieting to put less weight on my knees. Stopping exercise altogether. Even going through a procedure that included my own plasma to be harvested and reintroduced to my knee as supplementary lubricant.

Nothing has worked so far. I have to admit that this may be a lifelong issue and that my knees will always be an obstacle to being too active. But maybe it’s also my body telling me it’s not going to bounce back when I put it through the wringer and I should take care of it more overall. The past few months, I’ve been doing very moderate cardio and giving myself a break whenever I could feel the knee clicking or when I find it folding on its own while walking.

My body has its limitations but it’s been with me through a lot. It has expanded, shrunk, became bruised, scarred, but it bears all my history. It knows me and even when I’m not the biggest fan of it (big, dammit), it hasn’t given up on me yet. I recently noticed a very noticeable scar on my arm from mistakenly grazing our gate a few years ago has faded to almost nothing. So while the reminder is still there, it doesn’t have to be a glaring sign of what I’ve been through (much like my other scars). And that’s all right.

So what are your current limitations?

 

Jodythinks · Thanks

A day with the Laguna Pit Bulls

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment
Jack, who’s chill and cuddly.

 

I found out about CARA’s rescue of the pit bulls a long time ago but I only found the time to get there last year, and my outlook of love for animals has changed since.

You see in March of 2012, hundreds of dogs were rescued from a dog fighting operation in Laguna and about a month later, CARA Welfare Philippines gave the dogs a home, love and care since. It’s been more than 5 years, and still around 88 dogs still need to find homes, have medical care, and share the love they still have for humans, which, considering what they’ve been through, is a miracle in itself.

So we volunteered to spend the day with the pit bulls at their sanctuary. We went through the screening process, sent them a filled up application form, sent them government IDs and after about two weeks, found ourselves around the sweetest dogs ever.

When you get there your heart invariably melts because they are all excited and happy to see you. You get oriented and shown around to meet the dogs, and are encouraged to put your hand with treats into their cages to say hi. Consider that. These dogs that were raised to fight, gingerly fishing the treat from your hand and licking you at first contact. I, without exaggeration, have not met a friendlier group of dogs kept in cages. This is ultimately due to the constant rehabilitation, love and attention CARA’s full time staff provides them, which I believe has to be the most heartbreaking but also most fulfilling job one can undertake for the love of a dog.

We got to walk them and throw a ball around with several dogs, but there’s a lot of work you can do around the space. You can bathe them or help brush or clean the cages and space. You can donate here if you don’t have the time to spare. You can reblog and spread the word through social media so others can help. If you have the space and the love, you can foster. Best yet, you can find a place for your home for a pit bull of your own. The process is stringent but also, fair as the organization wants these dogs who have spent almost their whole lifetime waiting for a home, to find a good, permanent one.

It is ultimately my wish to help these dogs find their forever home, and encourage my friends (and even am volunteering to drive and cover the adoption fee) to open their homes up for these loves who just want to be loved back. I currently have my hands tied because my home is not fully behind the idea of pit bulls (it will take some time to rehabilitate pit bull reputations around here), but I am sincerely hoping to help get someone the love of their life. And by that I meant if you want someone to love you for the rest of their life, open your heart to a Laguna Pit Bull, and see how your life will change.

Jodythinks

Don’t buy a bunny

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

The first thing I tell people when they ask me about myself is that I am a crazy bunny lady. And that I am. A bulk of what I earn is spent towards giving my two rabbits a better life. For real. Because life as a rabbit person in the Philippines is a challenge, and I wouldn’t encourage anyone but the most committed to actually make that 12 year commitment.

First of all, here are the bunnies in question:

The best faces to come home to

Cute right? They are adorable. They are also the most destructive forces I have ever met. Chester has chewed through two macbook cords, a Calvin Klein belt, a Coach bag, a Nine West wallet, a Dell laptop cord, numerous pairs of Havaianas flip flops. Chibi has not met a bed sheet she’s liked and has proceeded to chew holes into each and every single one she’s ever seen.

They eat a diet of 90% Timothy hay, which I have a few special stores to hit every week, and can go through a P300 bag a day. They also eat fresh greens, basil, and fruit. They are proof that a vegan diet does not make you skinny.

They have two vets, and both host a national TV show. They are hard to pin down because of their schedule, and yes, they cost a premium because rabbit savvy vets are hard to find.

My first rabbit that stayed with us for seven years was kept mostly in a cage eating pellets from a pet store and kangkong (water spinach). When we got Chester 2 years after my first bun passed, we did a lot of research, and under the sentiment that this time we had jobs and worked from home, could give them a much better life than my first bun had.

And they are, but they’re a handful. There are no rabbit kennels. Planning vacations can be quite challenging since we have to make sure the person who’s looking after them know how and when to feed them. We have been quite lucky that I have a sister that has been willing to do so every time we have to go out for long periods.

They are not affectionate. Only dogs snuggle on a regular basis. Chester nips when I’m asleep and their food or water bowl is empty or he just wants pats on the head. Chibi has never tolerated being held, and require three people to hold her steady for a checkup with the vet.

The only reason I don’t have dozens of bunnies at home is because we had them spayed at the first sign of sexual maturity, and the operation plus aftercare required a lot of attention and thousands of pesos.

So don’t get a bunny. Rescue a dog from PAWS or CARA. Feed the strays you meet on the street. Sponsor a neighbor who always lets their dog get pregnant for a spay. Save yourself the trouble and don’t do it.

But if you really really want to love a rabbit and commit to more than a decade, do your research.

Here are a couple of sites I regularly consult:

House Rabbit Society: https://rabbit.org/frequently-asked-questions/

Binky Bunny: https://www.binkybunny.com/FORUM/tabid/54/Default.aspx

Bunny Bunch: http://www.bunnybunch.org/pages/rabbit-care-health-behavior/

And let me know if you want help. I am a fervent advocate of making sure rabbits live good lives.

Jodythinks

Hello, Goodbye

Jody AlarvaLeave a comment

When my blog domain expired in September of last year, I thought I had kissed blog writing goodbye. I had this thing about disconnecting online and connecting in person and I wanted to do more of that.

But you know the cliche “Life happens when you’re making other plans”? Well that happened to me. Life threw a gut punch of a game changer my way. What I realized in hindsight was, I cannot change too much of myself and forget that most of my life, how I processed things was through writing. Whether privately or through vague hints here and there on a public space, writing has always gotten me through the trying parts of my life.

This isn’t my old home, as jodythinks.com was purchased by another person. Ten years of writing, albeit sporadic, and it’s time to move forward. Time to become an adult and move to a domain that feels way more grown up.

Honestly, I was not a successful professional writer, let me tell you that. I guess it was because my writing isn’t very structured or grammatically correct, it was, and still is, all gut feel. What feels right, sounds right, all emotional.  I shifted from a writing job to something else quite quickly when that didn’t pan out, and am currently doing something different, but so far, moving along.

But I never forgot about words and putting them on paper. This January I started a DAILY journal as a project for 2018. Yes, daily. Full pages of my day that mostly come to, “went to eat at the same place, had a good day with my bunnies”. Seeing the words connect to paper though is quite satisfying, especially now that I’m actually using gel ink pens, not ballpoint. I never used to do this since I’m left handed and when at any point I get sweaty everything smudges and it’s all a big mess. I’m not sure if I’m writing slower or the pages just absorb better but I am feeling better about the ink. I may have to buy my first pen in a decade, from years of hoarding pens from hotels or doctor friends and relatives.

But as always, I digress.

I may not always be writing, and I may be saying goodbye to jodythinks, but I will be putting words to paper, typing, and so forth. This new domain feels like a new beginning. Not just to a more grown up me since I will always have the sense of humor of a thirteen year old boy, but maybe one that will be more of a stretch than just my waistline. Life may have punched me in the gut, but the bruises are healing.

So hello to my 5 readers again, and don’t worry, I won’t say goodbye anytime soon.