The human heart was—and remains—a mystery to me. But I’m learning. I have to. —Anthony Bourdain

What made me happy, as of May 29, 2023

Status report: Hives more than usual, but sleeping a bit better. Zero work on self because my place has been gross. Hoping to do better.

Here are the bright spots:

1. My friend Anna. When I told her about my incredibly irresponsible emotional response to something this week, she showed up for me. I am deeply grateful for my friend, who always knows how to respond. She started planning things with me. She told me about limitations, and gave me real reasons to when she can do and not do things. She gets me. She is sometimes so similar to me, but in a much improved way and has her shit together. She is the first person to call me out on my shit but also the first one to listen when i cry when the shitty decisions lead me to hurt.

2. Safety. There was a super typhoon expected to hit us this weekend. It didn’t. I can’t say i’m not relieved the weather forecast overpredicted it.

3. Finally getting my shelves up and a full length mirror. I have had shelves on my floor for a year and have also wanted a mirror for ages. Now that they’re up, and I have a contact to get other things up, I am excited.


Songs of the week:

You and I by SYML, Charlotte Lawrence

Lovely by Billie Eilish, Khalid

May I Have This Dance by Francis and the Lights, Chance the Rapper

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