Author: Jody Alarva

A realistic optimist just trying to find her way.
Jodythinks

I think you should listen to Ben&Ben’s Maybe the Night today

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Those strings, those lyrics, the quiet calm of this song until the swells of the violins chime in. Then it feels like when you hold your breath before after the first glimpse of your person.

I only recently heard this song late December (again, cousins who played music that I eventually heard the lyrics to). These lines are particularly sweet for me:

Maybe the night holds a little hope for us, dear
Maybe we might want to settle down, just be near
Stay together here

I don’t know why songs are this clear to me when most other things really are not. I do hope you listen to this song today and have someone to lay next to a bonfire (hopefully on a gorgeous beach somewhere) with and just enjoy the stars.

Listen to the song here and enjoy your weekend, and I wish a hopeful one, like this song.

Jodythinks

I think you should listen to Up Dharma Down’s Anino today

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Hello 6 readers, since I know most of you are related to me and/or Filipinos, you most likely know how to speak Filipino. So today, in this lovely Friday, I think you should listen to Up Dharma Down’s Anino.

I’ve always found Up Dharma Down’s music quite soothing and straightforwardly beautiful and this one is no exception.

Here are a few of the lines to make you think feel today.

Pagod na ang mga labi kahit wala pang sinasabi
Puro minsan na lang, nakapako sa aking isipan
Tahan na, umiiyak ka na naman
Hindi ba’t ikaw din ang papahid ng luhang yan

Hindi ka ba nag-sasawa sa tuwing titindig at titig sa salamin
Lahat ay nag-wakas, nakamtan ang kalayaan ko

Puro minsan na lang, nakapako sa aking isipan
Tahan na, umiiyak ka na naman
Hindi ba’t ikaw din ang papahid ng luhang yan

Hindi ka ba nag-sasawa sa tuwing titindig at titig sa salamin
Lahat ay nag-wakas, nakamtan ang kalayaan ko

It to me speaks of a tired heart but one that can’t help but going back. It knows the pain and that they only have themselves to pick them back up but it can’t help it. I don’t know, I really am a sucker for sad songs. Always have been, always will be.

So even if you just listen to the melody, try Up Dharma Down’s Anino today and feel what you need to feel.

What are you listening to this Friday?

Cheese · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Hit like a frying pan

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I only found out yesterday that GQ came out with an article about Anthony Bourdain, compiled of snippets from the people that really knew him. I knew I had to read it immediately and in private the words just resonated with me, especially this quote from Lydia Tenaglia and Chris Collins, his colleagues from Zero Point Zero Productions, and who he’d been working with his whole television career. People were detailing how they found out and this is what they said:

Tenaglia: I don’t think it was a shock that one day we would get a call. It was like, “Okay. Maybe we should prepare ourselves that one day Tony’s either gotten into a plane crash, or flipped on an ATV, had a heart attack.”

Collins: Not expecting, but you acknowledge that it could happen.

Tenaglia: But we didn’t expect that call. It’s like someone’s just hit you with a giant fucking frying pan. (source here)

I think all the fans, everyone who followed his career, watched his shows, read his books, all felt like with his lifestyle and the dangerous places he goes, there was a risk involved. There was a big possibility that we would lose him to one of those ATVs that kept flipping when he was riding them, or his body would give out, or he would be in some country that wasn’t safe from war or conflict and he would get stuck in the crossfire. Not the way we lost him. And I say we lost because most people I talk to feel like this man, who travelled across countries and sat with every single type of person and shared a meal with them, was someone they knew. And loved (or hated). 

It was terrible to lose him to such a tragedy. We can all blame external causes but internal demons can hurt people so much more than the outside. It can be a moment, it can be years of pain and hurt, but it only takes one attempt that pushes through to snuff out the light that makes the person themselves.

I don’t think he knew how much he meant to the world, but the world is still grieving his loss. Nobody could do what he had accomplished when he sought out to see the world. The rest of the world saw it with him and it might not have been pretty all the time, but that’s the reality of the place we live in.

So any time, anyone is thinking the world is better off without them in it, don’t. You mean more than you can imagine and you will leave a wound that would not be easy to repair. 

If you’re in the Philippines, here are the numbers for the people who deal with this professionally:

Hotline: (02) 8969191
Hotline: Mobile phone: 0917 854 9191

Or if that won’t work for you, let me know. We can all help each other.

Jodythinks · Love/Life · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to Lany’s ILYSB (Stripped) today

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Simply because it’s damn sexy. And I don’t say that about a lot of new songs since I am an oldie that likes songs that even my parents were too young to like.

But this song is just breathy and simple and I can’t get enough of it.

Here are a few lines from the song:

Ain’t never felt this way
Can’t get enough so stay with me
It’s not like we got big plans
Let’s drive around town holding hands

Mad warm when you get close…to me
Slow dance these summer nights
Our disco ball’s my kitchen light

And even if it sounds sexy the lyrics are pretty innocent. Holding hands in the car, slow dancing in a quiet kitchen. To me it not only speaks of desire for closeness but real intimacy.

And what’s sexier than that?

What songs are you listening to today? Have you slow danced in your kitchen with your significant other this year yet?

May this Friday treat you as well as the couple in this song, who only have eyes for each other, and if not, there’s always Saturday to make it up to you.

Jodythinks · Love/Life · Work

What motivates you?

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I’ve been reading a lot of motivational things lately. If you know me personally, you know that I’m not a person that reads self-help books a lot, or attend those workshops or necessarily believe in the theoretical versus the actual. I tell people I’m very grounded in reality, which sometimes can come off as cynical. Maybe it’s because of what’s happened to me in the past, or sometimes I’m just being over cautious to the point of paranoid.

I’m trying to see things more positively. I’m trying to be less sarcastic and cynical. There is just too much reality sometimes trying to grind us down to nubs and it’s not helpful being another voice in the chorus of negative Nancies.

So I try now to write down what I’m grateful for the day, or what made me happy even for a second, because every second counts. That quote that says “don’t just add years to your life, but life to your years” isn’t just something that can be brushed off, it’s something to think about. What are we living for anyway? Is it to spend all hours stressing out about things you can’t change, or is it being happy about the things you’ve accomplished? Even if it’s just getting up in the morning, sometimes life can be so overwhelmingly sad that you just want to hide under the covers and not deal with it, getting up can be a big deal. Laughing about a joke your friend made, even if it’s something that you wouldn’t necessarily laugh at. Or looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking “I don’t hate it” is a Yay! moment. 

Life is short, if you don’t pay attention it flies by and you’ve missed the important things. The milestones of people you love. The events that change lives. The opportunity to be with them, even if you have to take the extra step to do so, it’s worth it. Because that can all change in a second and all you’ll have left with is regret.

So let me start your day with a photo that’s made me grateful for a couple days:

 

 

This view, and the opportunity I was given to enjoy it, with the music I love and friends I cherish, is something that I am glad to have started the work week with.

What’s your motivation today?

Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

You lucky SOB

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I catch myself complaining a lot, and 2018 was not a year that I was very positive about a lot of things. When life threw me for a loop, I bitched and moaned about it. A lot. And I can recognize venting and mourning loss, but I also have to acknowledge what a lucky son of a Barbie (I won’t curse at my mother today) I am.

In 2018:

  1. I got to be there a lot more for what turned out to be our Nanay’s last year. 
  2. I spent a lot of times with my friends, and made a few new ones.
  3. I finally got to deal with my health, and found that there are some things you can turn the clock back on, and some facts you just have to accept for yourself.
  4. I got to see semi familiar places with people I love. Ho Chi Minh for the first time, Cebu city and Tabuan’s inner workings, Korea in the dead of winter, Vigan in a storm, Siquijor and Dumaguete, Batanes.
  5. I got to travel with our cousins for the first time and my heart could not have been more full at how wonderful people they’ve grown up to be, and how they’ve used their privilege to be better people than I’ll ever be.
  6. I got to travel for the first time myself. It was mind numbingly reflective but also cathartic.
  7. I changed how my room looked (sort of) and felt like a different person.

I feel like I need to list this down just so the next time I whine about how bad my situation is, I remember how much I actually got to experience and live in a challenging year.

Last year was certainly memorable and I survived it, albeit kicking and screaming.

And maybe I also need a wrap up to see what I have to look forward for to 2019, and Lord, I’m not challenging you on this, I know you’ve given me a whole lot and I am very grateful. I’m still breathing and most of the people I love are the same and mostly healthy. We got this, and I hope we all make it out alive this year.

Jodythinks · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to Imagine Dragons’ “Bad Liar” today

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The thing about hanging out with a big group in one room is that you get introduced to new music. I am admittedly in a music rut since I don’t listen to the radio and I get very particular with making my own playlists.

But I digress (again).

I had listened to Bad Liar by Imagine Dragons about 4 times a day for 4 days and just liking the melody. I got the chance to really listen to the lyrics and once I did I enjoyed it so much more.

Here are a few lines to the song:

So look me in the eyes, tell me what you see
Perfect paradise, tearin’ at the seams
I wish I could escape, I don’t wanna fake it
Wish I could erase it, make your heart believe
But I’m a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, now you know
That I’m a bad liar, bad liar
Now you know, you’re free to go

I may be misunderstanding this, but from what I get from the song is that this person has their personal demons and has a tendency to self sabotage, but is trying their best to get through and is done faking their way through life.

I completely relate. There is a lot about me that are defense mechanisms, the inappropriate humor and the biting sarcasm. I’m trying to be better at showing people the real me, but I know this isn’t an instant change. It’s a process. I am still a work in progress, but I am done lying.

Or maybe I just like the way he says darlin’, who knows.

Listen to the song here and let me know what you think.

Gratitude · Jodythinks · Love/Life

Merry Christmas Nanay

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Dear Nanay,

We were all home and got to spend Christmas together (except for Ann but you know she’s committed to the thing). We ate a bunch of things. Ninong taught most of us a game. The fathers drank whiskey, the kids (is it still kids if no one is younger than 21?) drank bottles of sweet wine.

You were still part of the raffle, and actually got to the end, but lost out to Joannaman. I bet if you did win you’d give it to us anyway like the year you did win the top prize.

Almost all the kids give gifts now so it took a good 15 minutes with several people walking around to just give away presents. Did you see the portrait we had made of you? It’s gorgeous and I think it really captured your spirit. The painting feels happy, like you always felt to me.

We miss you Nay, and I am curently typing this in the chair. Next to the bed that was yours wishing you were still napping here. As you would after a big lunch of Kare Kare, ribs and chicken lollipops.

It’s been so different without you but still we carry on. We learned from the best. It’s just so much better when you’re around.

Merry Christmas Nay.

Love,

Jody Anne

Jodythinks · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to Bastille’s and Marshmello’s Happier today

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One of my biggest regrets in life was when I wiped my 7 year old ipod nano (which still works now) of the songs I curated since 2007. Until now I can’t find some of the songs I had on there that meant a lot. Reason being was that I wanted to start over and make new memories with new songs, turns out, I no longer have the time, patience or resources to curate something to that effect (around 639 songs at the time of wiping).

I like very old songs, and those who probably have people sick of them by now. My excuse is that I don’t really listen to the radio now, and depend on people’s recommendations of new songs. So I hardly have any new artists on my playlists. So I appreciate all recommendations of all genres.

Our friend Carla showed me the video to Happier, by Bastille and Marshmello, which is heartbreaking for anyone who’s ever owned a dog. Its lyrics are quite spot on too:

When the evening falls
And I’m left there with my thoughts
And the image of you being with someone else
Well, it’s eating me up inside
But we ran our course, we pretended we’re okay
Now if we jump together at least we can swim
Far away from the wreck we made

So before you swim away, listen to this song today. And try not to cry at the video.

Jodythinks · Songs to listen to

I think you should listen to Fra Lippo Lippi’s “Later” today

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I know it’s sad, and I actually started my day putting up my Christmas tree to Christmas carols. However, seeing Pier Sorenson on CNN Philippines sing it by himself really resonated with me. If you’ve never heard it, or it’s been years since you thought about it, please listen to it here.

Its lyrics are simple. Here is a sample of a few lines:

How could you ask for more

With an innocent smile
Trusting me to stay
How could you close the door
And leave me here
Supposing I’m okay

How could you break down my disguise

And uncover my fears
How could you look into my eyes
Ignoring my tears

It’s pain and it’s longing and it’s knowing it’s never going to be the same, but it’s real. I recently read in a book that “without suffering there is no compassion” and I agree. We have to experience pain to really empathize and realize how much things can hurt, and appreciate the good when it comes along.

Even if I am patched up and there are scars and bruises that show up in my being, it has allowed me to really experience humanity, and I can’t really regret that.