Life will hit you with all it’s got. It’s going to be devastating. People will tell you that your troubles don’t compare to those who are starving in the streets, who are going through civil war. Ignore them. Your pain is yours that is why it’s important.

Don’t let anybody tell you what matters. It matters to you, it matters.

Don’t let anyone give you a timeline of what you should be doing at your age, comparing you to others. Do things at your own time. Fall in love at 20, 30, or 60. Do not shortchange yourself to a life that means fitting in, becoming what they need you to be. You have to live with what you choose, who you choose, and that doesn’t have a deadline.

But if you’re the type to follow the path, do it. If it feels right. If that is what makes you happy, do it. Find the right guy at 21. Make plans. Marry him at 26, have your first child at 27. Breastfeed. Send them to great schools. Follow the path mostly traveled.

Life doesn’t come with cheat sheets. There is no clear way of how to live it “right”. You have to choose the path that feels right. If your gut is nagging at you about something, listen. Think about it. Figure out why it doesn’t feel natural to you, or something seems off. Change why it is. And as that ubiquitous song goes, “Let it go.” if it doesn’t quite fit. You’ve tried hard enough. You’ve fought for it enough.

Believe that you can do it because you were built to withstand pain, obstacles in your path. Your support system, no matter how obvious or unorthodox, will help you if you can’t do it alone. There are hundreds of ways and a myriad of places where you can connect to others that are going through the same thing, as long as you decide to find it and look hard enough.

Break barriers if you need to. It’s difficult and it will hurt, but it will make you stronger. What you’ve gone through will change you, and hopefully make you wiser for the future. If not, you can chalk it up to life experience, or an amazing story to tell on your next first date.

Love until it hurts, but don’t give up yourself to do it. Make yourself matter because those who love you will treat you like you matter to them. They will not hide you. They will not hurt you, physically, emotionally, psychologically. If you tell them it hurts and if they don’t stop, figure out why. Help them stop a cycle of abuse, of themselves and you. If you’re scared, ask for help.

Love yourself. Bravery is following your own path, and too often, we love others more than ourselves and lose the path we were meant to take. Be brave enough to speak up when you feel unheard. Don’t let them step all over you. Heal.

How brave are you today?

The knee pads in the photo are fairly new. They’re a new staple to the me that I’ve been this year, since being told I have osteoarthritis. Basically, I wore down my knees to almost non-existent cartilage protection, and started limping. MRI, diagnosis, options, and voila! Age and dirty jokes abound when I had to start wearing these, but they are honestly a godsend. I really like walking around, and with these, i can actually do that without wincing after 30 minutes. Which isn’t really surprising as two doctors told me that I wore my right knee down to the bone.

It’s disappointing, really, as I used to spend hours just leisurely walking, or did futsal for fun, and did boxing and muay thai for a while. With this condition, I have had to change perspectives and find alternative ways to get active again, and actually help myself with this thing, as excess weight only exacerbates the issue.

So what’s the solution to this bit of a conundrum? I don’t know yet. If anyone would like to let me tag along in their low joint impact activities, please, let me know. I am open to most anything, and I think having a friend to work out with helps a lot with keeping yourself motivated.

So what’s keeping you active?

Whenever #throwbackThursday rolls around, I always see these insane posts of photos of people 4 years ago, 10 years, 15. Captions are usually “(Number of) pounds ago, or “Before I had  eyebags” or “Wasn’t i supposed to be more successful by now?”. I think the throwback Thursday posts are a way of reliving our past, whether it be a past figure, a friend you haven’t seen in a long time, and makes us think of regrets we’ve had, or how little we’ve accomplished since then. Looking at yourself younger, more fit, and all around “better” can be a kick to the senses. I know I’ve had those moments when I was like, “If I knew I was going to be this chubby, I would’ve worn string bikinis years ago.” or “Augh, what have I done since this photo?”, little things that nag you and make you nostalgic and a little bit down.

I say, honor your past for what it has done to shape you to who you are today. That teeny pooch you didn’t have 5 years ago that you first got travelling to HK and eating so much street food. Those bags under your eyes because your 3 year old kept you up every single night for a week. The wrinkles around your mouth because you can’t stop smiling in the house you just bought for yourself, even if it means 5 more years of payments to get it to be fully yours.

You earned it. Every bag, wrinkle or pooch. You’ve lived. You’ve experienced so many things since that photo of you in that microskirt that would never fit you again. You’re wiser after the string of bad women that have loved you and left you and know what a good relationship feels like, and what it takes to keep it.

Live. Do it for yourself. Do it for those who can’t because their situations are dire, or they’re not financially able, physically capable.

Make these years count. Stop looking back with regret and thank yourself for surviving what you’ve gone through and being able to live.

We only get one life in this earth, make it the best you can.