Jodythinks

Song of the day:

Man He Sings About Romance by Laura Marling

These people, are my people, watch how we roll
don’t mess ‘em up, they’re young, life’s only just begun
And for the record we were messed up, on our own
He takes the fakes and puts them in their place
And he swiftly moves along,
And he’s known around
He’s passed his break of social season hearts
Yeah I’ve spoke and yeah we get along

Man I could fall for a man, who can sing about, love and depression among other things,
A man who sings about romance
Woman he hardly kno-o-ows,
What good does it bring, this is the woman he cho-o-ose…

I’m loving Laura Marling right now. 🙂

Jodythinks

Put on a happy face

Today, my mask is happy. The plastered-on grin only falters when I stop to think. My smile drops when I glance at windows. Life is going all around me, and I am a apathetic face in the crowd.

This is what I figure. When I put on a happy face, the feeling follows. And it does for a while. I am blanketed with warmth and sunshine as I step into the light. But as the shadows fall, I’m back to the person I was, empty and wanting.

This mask is thin, and imperfect. The eyes are holes and mine peek out of them, staring into far off spaces.

As i see clearer still the mask slips off, revealing the broken, wasted shell that I have become.

The mirror is my foe, as i face the truth. It shatters as I hit it, not caring for that which I see.

Lying down tired with the shards of glass, I pick up the mask and put on a happy face.

Jodythinks

You deserve better

It’s been weeks and I’ve been wanting to say this to quite a few people.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

Really you do. I’m sorry I get angry and I snap at you. That I sometimes get exasperated and don’t reply immediately to your texts of help.

It’s just I hold you to a higher standard. It’s coz you deserve a higher standard. You’re better than you think. You are wonderful. You shouldn’t do this to yourself.

They say the smart ones are idiots about who they fall for. It’s true. In your case. I guess. You’re one of the smartest people I know, and when it comes to love, you’re a total moron.

And I say that with love coz I too am a moron.

But you don’t deserve what you’re getting.

You.deserve.better.

Remember that.